As Valentine’s Day approaches, many people start thinking about love and romance. Usually this is in connection with a romantic partner. When was the last time you thought about loving and romancing yourself? Here are some ideas.
Spend time thinking about what love looks like for you. If this is difficult, think about past, present, or future romantic partners. What makes you feel loved? The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman lists five different ways that people express love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Which of these are most important to you? All of them can be used for self-love. Express your love for yourself to yourself in your love language.
If you find it difficult to love yourself and do loving things for yourself, ask yourself why? Look in a mirror and say “I love you” to the image you see in the mirror. Observe the voices that come up. Are you getting a resounding “Yes I do” when you say this or are hearing voices that tell you why you don’t or can’t love yourself. Decide whether you want to continue to believe the voices you hear or whether it is time to change them. I wrote more about Mirror Work a few months ago. Keep looking at yourself in the mirror daily until you feel as much love for yourself as you feel when you are in love with someone else.
The more you love yourself, the more you can make choices based on what makes you happy instead of choices based on fear or unmet needs. The more you love yourself, the more love you will have for others. The more you love yourself, the more you will attract people who want to be part of that love.
At the same time, you may also attract people who try to bring you down. The more you love yourself, the easier it will be to tell the difference. If your self-love is strong, any toxic people you don’t want in your life will eventually fade away. They get tired of being around people who will not tolerate their behavior.
Whether or not you have a romantic partner, make sure you take some time this month to show your love for yourself. You can choose to blow the month off and say that it’s just a Hallmark gimmick, but so what if it is? Seize the opportunity to use Valentine’s Day as a focal point for an often neglected area of your life: YOU.
If you want more help with self-love, check out our many offerings at Songbird, including my Manifesting Your True Gold Self class this Sunday, February 9 from 4pm-6pm. We will be focusing on the topic of Self-Love.